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Not all fun and games for some kids!
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The Pitfalls of Hypocrisy
(First published Oct 2013 - updated Oct 2022 & May 2025)
For those who don’t know, I work as a professional performance artist specialising in slapstick comedy, much like Mr. Bean. Over the past four decades, I’ve performed my buffoonery lectures and shows worldwide. I’ve spent more than half of my time in the Far East and India, and I’ve also performed at the only Moulin Rouge French Cabaret in China, as well as high-class hotels, international schools, universities, and for countless country ambassadors, diplomats, and even royalty. My walls are adorned with accolades from ambassadors, prime ministers, dozens of Rotary Clubs, and all the major schools, including Harrow, Shrewsbury, Berkeley, and numerous other international schools. Additionally, I am the founder and director of a Thai-registered charity honoured as a Member of the League of Foundations of Thailand under the Royal Patronage of the late His Majesty King Bhumibol Adulyadej. I am also a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts in London, Eddie Haworth FRSA.
Hypocrisy.
I feel compelled to share my thoughts after hearing a recent radio report about how men in Britain are increasingly hesitant to work with children. It’s truly disheartening to realise that some people still hold preconceived notions about men who engage in charity work with vulnerable children or even teaching. I’ve been aware of these reports since the early 1990s, when, along with my then-wife, I began working with vulnerable individuals, including both children and adults, in the deprived areas of Liverpool, Manchester, and other northwestern English towns. These areas often had high numbers of unemployed parents, some struggling with addiction issues, most struggling with finances, leaving their offspring to often fend for themselves, in turn opening the children up to all manner of vulnerabilities. Although these types of preconceptions are not new, they remain deeply concerning and disheartening.
First written by me in September 2013, here’s a quote from a lady who was the chairperson of a large women’s organisation: “We cannot support your cause because you are a ‘MAN’ who is often in contact with vulnerable children.”
That was said directly to me a few months after I had spent an afternoon with some of the ladies’ fellow committee members at an extended lunch aboard a floating restaurant anchored by the riverside close to the famous Bridge over the River Kwai, near Kanchanaburi, Siam. I had been booked to perform by the Australian Chamber of Commerce in Bangkok, as I did every year on ANZAC Day, at a small school close to the Hell Fire Pass, Burma Railway site.
That year, the show was attended by the British Queen Elizabeth 2 representative, Dame Quentin Bryce, who served as the 25th Governor-General of Australia from 2008 to 2014, plus the British and Australian Ambassadors to Thailand, a whole bunch of diplomats and the Australian/New Zealand Woman’s Group members. During the extended lunch, some of the ladies maybe had one sherry too many and started to become very keen on supporting the children’s charity that the funny guy who made the kids so happy had founded and worked passionately with. Which, I thought, was, in turn, good news for the thousands of needy children that the charity supports in Thailand.
However, following a long period of not responding to emails and calls after that tipsy meeting, the hypocrisy of all their high-flying offers started to show its ugly face when it turned out that some of those (now sober) women had some unworthy preconceived ideas about men working with vulnerable children. It’s quite remarkable how these ladies conveniently forgot about their own eagerness to support needy people when they were in a more enlightened state of excitement at the prospect of supporting my charity. It appears they also apparently had no idea that, apart from my well-documented accolades and high-class reviews, I was employed, undercover, by an organisation set up to seek out child abusers in Southeast Asia. The organisation I worked for is run by and made up of respected, serving, and retired male and female police officers from the UK, Australia, and the USA. You can be very sure they don’t employ anyone without the most stringent background checks being done before they even approach a prospective employee. (Unlike the ladies from said organisation?)
Pitfalls.
Here’s a more detailed guide to what I could have achieved to help hundreds of poor children. If those ladies had bothered to check my background, they would have learned a great deal about what led me to become a charity worker committed to helping vulnerable children. They may also have been able to do so much more to help those children themselves if only they hadn’t fallen into the pit of judgment without trial.
It’s probably important to know I was then, and still, now, a single man who’s been married a few times with grown-up children and a whole bunch of grandchildren and great-grandchildren. But the ladies didn’t seem to look beyond their well-established belief that any single man over the age of 50 who lives in Bangkok must be considered a sex-patriate, not an ex-patriate like their executive husbands.
As already mentioned, a few years ago, I was privileged to be invited to work as a volunteer operative with an organisation set up for the sole purpose of catching the bad guys, getting their victims into safe hands, and then helping with recovery from their ordeal. I have so far reported quite a few potential abusers, and to my knowledge, some of them are now behind bars, where it’s hoped they remain for a very long time.
Even with such a respectable history, I am still a ‘MAN’ working with some not-so-vulnerable and some very vulnerable children in Southeast Asia. I am proud of my profession, and I’ve dedicated my life to ensuring that my work always benefits people without strings attached. I know this because I have spent many years studying and practising my chosen profession, just as doctors, lawyers, or any other professional must do to succeed.
Another reason for this article started in 2013. Any British people reading this will know about the well-known UK millionaire and third-rate TV personality Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris, and others who have managed to double the uphill slog that many others must climb to convince people that not all men who work with children are raging paedophiles.
Though I have never been abused by Jimmy Savile or any other high-profile paedophiles, I am nevertheless a survivor of child sexual abuse and rape from the age of six to thirteen. Most of the predators were Cubs or Scoutmasters and their friends. Plus, some complete strangers spotted my vulnerability as a latchkey child/victim (no family members).
Quotes from my TV documentary focusing on what happened to me: “I was an innocent child -- Those men who abused me were not!” I have learned that with the right kind of therapy and help, victims of such heinous crimes are sometimes able to learn how to become good, honest, and caring people themselves eventually. The cycle of abuse can be stopped. We survivors must get used to the idea that what happened to us was not our fault. That’s why it’s called ABUSE!
Many people think that abused children automatically become abusers themselves. I also believe that’s true of a large percentage of victims of child sex, violence, or mental abuse. I only hope that now there’s less taboo surrounding this subject, more of those children can talk about what’s happened to them before they do become adults who keep the cycle rolling.
In my case, it took me until my early 40s to realise the profound impact of what had happened to me. I lost all the innocence of childhood when I was just learning to string sentences together and spell my own name. When my wife left me at 42, I couldn’t understand why she had stopped loving me. I was left devastated and suicidal, which led to a long period of drug and alcohol addiction, psychotherapy, and rehabilitation. It was during this time that I finally came to terms with the loss of my childhood.
I understood that I had become an angry (never violent), possessive, and dismissive husband to the woman I loved the most, and that’s why she left. I’m now pleased to know that, at least, she settled well and happily with a new husband and two children. Sadly, she suffered from early-onset Alzheimer’s in her late 40s and is now lost to the world. I was ‘lucky’ because, had she not left me, I might never have faced what had made me so deeply depressed, angry, and dismissive for most of my adult life. Details of what happened to me will soon be published in another article/book aimed at helping survivors of child sexual abuse.
Now, I am finally free from depression, drug and alcohol addictions, and the constant search for love with numerous potential partners. All the miserable feelings and suicidal thoughts that many survivors must fight off are no longer part of my life. I am genuinely content and happy with life.
Along with many others in teaching, nursing, and other professions that involve working with children, we are still profoundly affected by the revelations about Savile, Harris, and several others who have been charged with crimes of abuse against children. Unlike Savile and his associates, I have always made it a point never to be alone with any child in my care, and I always have all the correct, verifiable CRB certificates required by law to work with children. Despite this, I still find that some people’s preconceived ideas about ‘MALES’ who work with children have turned my personal struggle to establish and maintain my own good name into an uphill and time-consuming task.
I’m getting tired of having to justify my existence as a single man who works with children simply because I genuinely enjoy seeing innocent little human beings appreciate all the years of hard work I had to go through to become good at what I do for them. “If I were a woman, I’m sure no one would give it a second thought.” But I’m a ‘MAN’, so I suppose I just have to accept that some people are always going to read something nasty into whatever I do when I’m in contact with children.
As already hinted, I’m now finally happy and settled with the new love of my life. She’s not a woman or a man, a child, a god, a fast car, or even a pet. My total dedication is now the love of giving something I’m good at giving. I simply provide essential needs to poor children and their parents if they have any. I receive more pleasure from sharing this than I could ever have imagined when those nasty perverts were doing their best to destroy any goodness that could have developed when I was a child myself.
Indeed, my life has become a nonstop mission to provide essential moments of joy to those great little kids who otherwise receive very little joy in their lives. So, no amount of backstabbing comments about what I may be up to when giving my heart and soul to those poor little blighters is ever going to stop me from doing what I do best. Quite simply showing them that men can be good guys sometimes.
Now, it’s entirely up to readers of this article to decide how to think of me as an honest Joe or just another lying, sad little paedophile trying to cover his own tracks. In the end, I am the only one who really knows the truth. And being that person, I know that while I am alive and when I’m dead, No one will ever be able to call me another one of those sub humans that deserve the title of ‘Child Sex Abuser’.
The whole point of this statement is to try and show whoever reads it (and some ladies) that not all men are paedophiles just because they work with children, and even we survivors of child sex abuse don’t all end up doing the same as our abusers. In fact, some of us end up making sure that children we have the privilege to know and work with are all given the opportunity to see that not all ‘MEN’ are after their innocent little bodies or minds!
So, please spare a thought for those of us who have survived being abused without becoming offenders ourselves. And consider that some of us have even made it our true mission in life to help, protect and make happy the innocent children of this world. Despite those morons we read about, I genuinely believe that men can and should work with children - Really!
Finally, I can’t leave this without saying. Thanks for nothing, Jimmy Savile, Gary Glitter, Stewart Hall, Rolf Harris and all the other sad little celebrity child abusers! -- You had wealth, fame and power. Why did you need to take those children’s innocent lives as well, you selfish little worms?
Hypocrisy.
I feel compelled to share my thoughts after hearing a recent radio report about how men in Britain are increasingly hesitant to work with children. It’s truly disheartening to realise that some people still hold preconceived notions about men who engage in charity work with vulnerable children or even teaching. I’ve been aware of these reports since the early 1990s, when, along with my then-wife, I began working with vulnerable individuals, including both children and adults, in the deprived areas of Liverpool, Manchester, and other northwestern English towns. These areas often had high numbers of unemployed parents, some struggling with addiction issues, most struggling with finances, leaving their offspring to often fend for themselves, in turn opening the children up to all manner of vulnerabilities. Although these types of preconceptions are not new, they remain deeply concerning and disheartening.
First written by me in September 2013, here’s a quote from a lady who was the chairperson of a large women’s organisation: “We cannot support your cause because you are a ‘MAN’ who is often in contact with vulnerable children.”
That was said directly to me a few months after I had spent an afternoon with some of the ladies’ fellow committee members at an extended lunch aboard a floating restaurant anchored by the riverside close to the famous Bridge over the River Kwai, near Kanchanaburi, Siam. I had been booked to perform by the Australian Chamber of Commerce in Bangkok, as I did every year on ANZAC Day, at a small school close to the Hell Fire Pass, Burma Railway site.
That year, the show was attended by the British Queen Elizabeth 2 representative, Dame Quentin Bryce, who served as the 25th Governor-General of Australia from 2008 to 2014, plus the British and Australian Ambassadors to Thailand, a whole bunch of diplomats and the Australian/New Zealand Woman’s Group members. During the extended lunch, some of the ladies maybe had one sherry too many and started to become very keen on supporting the children’s charity that the funny guy who made the kids so happy had founded and worked passionately with. Which, I thought, was, in turn, good news for the thousands of needy children that the charity supports in Thailand.
However, following a long period of not responding to emails and calls after that tipsy meeting, the hypocrisy of all their high-flying offers started to show its ugly face when it turned out that some of those (now sober) women had some unworthy preconceived ideas about men working with vulnerable children. It’s quite remarkable how these ladies conveniently forgot about their own eagerness to support needy people when they were in a more enlightened state of excitement at the prospect of supporting my charity. It appears they also apparently had no idea that, apart from my well-documented accolades and high-class reviews, I was employed, undercover, by an organisation set up to seek out child abusers in Southeast Asia. The organisation I worked for is run by and made up of respected, serving, and retired male and female police officers from the UK, Australia, and the USA. You can be very sure they don’t employ anyone without the most stringent background checks being done before they even approach a prospective employee. (Unlike the ladies from said organisation?)
Pitfalls.
Here’s a more detailed guide to what I could have achieved to help hundreds of poor children. If those ladies had bothered to check my background, they would have learned a great deal about what led me to become a charity worker committed to helping vulnerable children. They may also have been able to do so much more to help those children themselves if only they hadn’t fallen into the pit of judgment without trial.
It’s probably important to know I was then, and still, now, a single man who’s been married a few times with grown-up children and a whole bunch of grandchildren and great-grandchildren. But the ladies didn’t seem to look beyond their well-established belief that any single man over the age of 50 who lives in Bangkok must be considered a sex-patriate, not an ex-patriate like their executive husbands.
As already mentioned, a few years ago, I was privileged to be invited to work as a volunteer operative with an organisation set up for the sole purpose of catching the bad guys, getting their victims into safe hands, and then helping with recovery from their ordeal. I have so far reported quite a few potential abusers, and to my knowledge, some of them are now behind bars, where it’s hoped they remain for a very long time.
Even with such a respectable history, I am still a ‘MAN’ working with some not-so-vulnerable and some very vulnerable children in Southeast Asia. I am proud of my profession, and I’ve dedicated my life to ensuring that my work always benefits people without strings attached. I know this because I have spent many years studying and practising my chosen profession, just as doctors, lawyers, or any other professional must do to succeed.
Another reason for this article started in 2013. Any British people reading this will know about the well-known UK millionaire and third-rate TV personality Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris, and others who have managed to double the uphill slog that many others must climb to convince people that not all men who work with children are raging paedophiles.
Though I have never been abused by Jimmy Savile or any other high-profile paedophiles, I am nevertheless a survivor of child sexual abuse and rape from the age of six to thirteen. Most of the predators were Cubs or Scoutmasters and their friends. Plus, some complete strangers spotted my vulnerability as a latchkey child/victim (no family members).
Quotes from my TV documentary focusing on what happened to me: “I was an innocent child -- Those men who abused me were not!” I have learned that with the right kind of therapy and help, victims of such heinous crimes are sometimes able to learn how to become good, honest, and caring people themselves eventually. The cycle of abuse can be stopped. We survivors must get used to the idea that what happened to us was not our fault. That’s why it’s called ABUSE!
Many people think that abused children automatically become abusers themselves. I also believe that’s true of a large percentage of victims of child sex, violence, or mental abuse. I only hope that now there’s less taboo surrounding this subject, more of those children can talk about what’s happened to them before they do become adults who keep the cycle rolling.
In my case, it took me until my early 40s to realise the profound impact of what had happened to me. I lost all the innocence of childhood when I was just learning to string sentences together and spell my own name. When my wife left me at 42, I couldn’t understand why she had stopped loving me. I was left devastated and suicidal, which led to a long period of drug and alcohol addiction, psychotherapy, and rehabilitation. It was during this time that I finally came to terms with the loss of my childhood.
I understood that I had become an angry (never violent), possessive, and dismissive husband to the woman I loved the most, and that’s why she left. I’m now pleased to know that, at least, she settled well and happily with a new husband and two children. Sadly, she suffered from early-onset Alzheimer’s in her late 40s and is now lost to the world. I was ‘lucky’ because, had she not left me, I might never have faced what had made me so deeply depressed, angry, and dismissive for most of my adult life. Details of what happened to me will soon be published in another article/book aimed at helping survivors of child sexual abuse.
Now, I am finally free from depression, drug and alcohol addictions, and the constant search for love with numerous potential partners. All the miserable feelings and suicidal thoughts that many survivors must fight off are no longer part of my life. I am genuinely content and happy with life.
Along with many others in teaching, nursing, and other professions that involve working with children, we are still profoundly affected by the revelations about Savile, Harris, and several others who have been charged with crimes of abuse against children. Unlike Savile and his associates, I have always made it a point never to be alone with any child in my care, and I always have all the correct, verifiable CRB certificates required by law to work with children. Despite this, I still find that some people’s preconceived ideas about ‘MALES’ who work with children have turned my personal struggle to establish and maintain my own good name into an uphill and time-consuming task.
I’m getting tired of having to justify my existence as a single man who works with children simply because I genuinely enjoy seeing innocent little human beings appreciate all the years of hard work I had to go through to become good at what I do for them. “If I were a woman, I’m sure no one would give it a second thought.” But I’m a ‘MAN’, so I suppose I just have to accept that some people are always going to read something nasty into whatever I do when I’m in contact with children.
As already hinted, I’m now finally happy and settled with the new love of my life. She’s not a woman or a man, a child, a god, a fast car, or even a pet. My total dedication is now the love of giving something I’m good at giving. I simply provide essential needs to poor children and their parents if they have any. I receive more pleasure from sharing this than I could ever have imagined when those nasty perverts were doing their best to destroy any goodness that could have developed when I was a child myself.
Indeed, my life has become a nonstop mission to provide essential moments of joy to those great little kids who otherwise receive very little joy in their lives. So, no amount of backstabbing comments about what I may be up to when giving my heart and soul to those poor little blighters is ever going to stop me from doing what I do best. Quite simply showing them that men can be good guys sometimes.
Now, it’s entirely up to readers of this article to decide how to think of me as an honest Joe or just another lying, sad little paedophile trying to cover his own tracks. In the end, I am the only one who really knows the truth. And being that person, I know that while I am alive and when I’m dead, No one will ever be able to call me another one of those sub humans that deserve the title of ‘Child Sex Abuser’.
The whole point of this statement is to try and show whoever reads it (and some ladies) that not all men are paedophiles just because they work with children, and even we survivors of child sex abuse don’t all end up doing the same as our abusers. In fact, some of us end up making sure that children we have the privilege to know and work with are all given the opportunity to see that not all ‘MEN’ are after their innocent little bodies or minds!
So, please spare a thought for those of us who have survived being abused without becoming offenders ourselves. And consider that some of us have even made it our true mission in life to help, protect and make happy the innocent children of this world. Despite those morons we read about, I genuinely believe that men can and should work with children - Really!
Finally, I can’t leave this without saying. Thanks for nothing, Jimmy Savile, Gary Glitter, Stewart Hall, Rolf Harris and all the other sad little celebrity child abusers! -- You had wealth, fame and power. Why did you need to take those children’s innocent lives as well, you selfish little worms?
“And remember, folks, if you ever find yourself in a room full of diplomats and dignitaries, just make sure to keep the sherry flowing,
it seems to be the secret ingredient for world peace, at least until the hangover clears!”
Any questions
it seems to be the secret ingredient for world peace, at least until the hangover clears!”
Any questions