Not all fun and games for some kids!
The Pitfalls of Hypocrisy (First published Oct 2013 - updated Oct 2022)
A chance to reconsider any preconceived ideas about men who work with children.
I am moved to write this personal blog since I was reminded recently about a report I heard on the radio about how men can no longer consider working with children in Britain. It's also true that some people have preconceived ideas about men who do charity work with children.
Here's a quote from a lady who was the chairperson of a large woman's organisation:
"We cannot support your cause because you are a 'MAN' whose often in contact with vulnerable children".
Hypocrisy.
That was quoted to a man who had previously spent an afternoon with some of the ladies fellow committee members at a social function. Some of the ladies maybe had one sherry too many and started to become very keen on supporting the children's charity that the man worked for, which was in turn good news for the kids that the charity supports.
However, following a long period of not responding to emails calls and calls after that tipsy meeting. The hypocrisy of all their high flying offers started to show it's ugly face when it turned out that some of those (now sober) women had some unworthy preconceived ideas about MEN working with vulnerable children.
It's quite amazing how these ladies conveniently forgot about their own eagerness to support the charity when they were in a more enlightened state of excitement at the prospect supporting the charity that he works for. In fact they also, apparently had no idea that the man in question was actually employed by an organization that is set-up to seek out child abusers in S.E. Asia. The organization he works for is run by and made-up of respected, serving and retired male and female Police Officers from the UK, Australia and USA. You can be very sure, they don't employ anyone without the most stringent background checks being done before they even approach prospective employee. (Unlike the ladies from said organization?)
Pitfalls.
Here follows a more detailed guide to what he could have achieved to help hundreds of poor children
If those ladies had bothered to check the man's background they would have learned so much about what brought him to become a charity worker committed to helping vulnerable children. They may also have been able to do so much more to help those children themselves if only they hadn't fallen into the pit of judgement without trial.
Important to know this man.
He is now a single man that's been married a few times with grown-up children and a whole bunch of grandchildren. He also has a 30 year history of working worldwide and successfully adjusting to cultures that have very diverse ideas of morality, religions and lifestyles, before finally settling in S/E Asia many years ago.
As well as being a professional in his field of work, he is a key player and contributor to a children's charity that's takes him and a small team to city slums, homes for physically or mentally challenged children, remote areas where people are living in migrant communities, shelters for street kids and even people living on rubbish dumps.
Since starting this charity work more than ten years ago, he has been on a very long and often frustrating learning curve. One reality he had to try and understand was, why some people are reluctant to help a children's charity that has a 'MAN' at the helm, even though most other people connected are women? He also had to learn why a ladies group had personally insulted him without even considering any kind of background check on his personal suitability to work with children, or even checking the 'State Registered Charity's' very strict rules for staff working in regulated positions within the charity.
He also discovered that he had a few lessons to learn in his professional career where he regularly works at International schools, 5 star hotels, restaurants and even British, Australian, French and USA Embassies with direct contact to their respective Ambassadors. He's found there's a lot to learn in this modern day climate of political correctness while working around children and their families, be they rich or poor. And he finds it almost impossible to imagine how anyone intent on abusing children whilst in the employ of such establishments could ever achieve their sad little objectives. Although he knows it does happen and it's very important to seek-out the bad guys that do manage to infiltrate the systems.
As already said, a few years ago he was privileged to be invited to work as volunteer operative with an organization that is set-up for the sole purpose of catching the bad guys and getting their victims into safe hands and then help with recovery from their ordeal. He has so far reported quite a few potential abusers and to his knowledge some of them are now behind bars where it's hoped they remain for a very long time.
Even with such a respectable history, he is still a 'MAN' working with some not so vulnerable, and some very vulnerable children in S/E Asian. He is proud of his profession and has dedicated his life to making sure that his work is always going to benefit people without strings attached. He knows this because he has spent many years studying and practicing his chosen profession, just like a good Doctor, Lawyer or any other professional person must do to succeed.
Another reason for this blog.
Any British people reading this will know about the well known UK millionaire and third-rate TV personality, Jimmy Savile and now Rolf Harris and others who have managed to double the 'uphill slog' that many others have to climb in order to convince people that not all 'MEN' who work with children are raging paedophiles.
Though our man has never been abused by Jimmy Savile or any other high profile paedophiles. He is never the less, a survivor of child sexual abuse and rape from the age of six to thirteen. Most of the predators were Cub or Scout masters and their friends. Plus there were some complete strangers who spotted this vulnerable child/victim, (No family members).
Quotes from this victim.
"I was an innocent child -- Those men who abused me were not!".
I have learned that with the right kind of therapy and help, victims of such heinous crimes are sometimes able to learn how to eventually become good honest and caring people themselves.
The cycle of abuse can be stopped.
We survivors have to get used to the idea of seeing what happened to us was not our fault. That’s why it’s called ABUSE!
Many people think that abused children atomically become abusers themselves? I also believe that's true of a large percentage of victims of child sex, violent or mental abuse. I only hope that now there's less taboo surrounding this subject, more of those kids can talk about what's happened to them before they do become adults who keep the cycle rolling.
In my case it took me right up-to my early 40's to find out what had happened to me was such a life changing experience that it meant I actually lost all the innocence of a child when I was only just able to string a sentence together and still learning to spell my own name. 'Luckily', my wife left me when I was 42 and I couldn't understand why she had stopped loving me. I was left devastated and suicidal which in-turn forced me into a long period of drug & alcohol addiction, psychotherapy then rehabilitation before finally coming to terms with what happened to me when I lost my childhood. I finally understood that I had become an angry (Never violent) possessive and dismissive husband to the lady I loved the most and that's why she left. "I'm now pleased to know that she's settled very well and happily with a new husband and child".
I was 'Lucky' because, had she not left me...I may have never come to terms with or faced up-to what had made me so deeply depressed, angry and dismissive for most of my adult life. Details of what actually happened to me are published on another blog, aimed at helping survivors of child sexual abuse. To follow that hard hitting report, simply make a comment to this blog.
Now I am finally free from the depressions, drug & alcohol addictions and constantly trying to replace my lost love with quite a few more potential partners. All the miserable feelings and suicidal thoughts that so many survivors must fight-off are no longer part of my life and I am finally genuinely content and happy with life.
However, I and many other people in the teaching, nursing and other business where we must work with children are still massively affected by revelations about Savile, Harris and quite a few others who've recently been charged with crimes of abuse against children.
Unlike Savile and his mates...I have always made a point of never being alone with any child in my care and I always have all the correct, verifiable CRB certificates required by law to work with children. But I still find that some peoples preconceived ideas about 'MALES' who work with children has turned my personal struggle to establish and maintain my own good name into an uphill and time consuming task.
I'm getting tired of having to justify my existence as a single bloke who works with children simply because, I really enjoy seeing innocent little human-beings appreciating all the years of hard work I had to go through to become good at what I do for them... "If I was a woman, I'm sure no-one would give it a second thought". But I'm a 'MAN' so I suppose I just have to accept that some people are always going to read something nasty into whatever I do when I'm in contact with children.
As already hinted...I'm now finally happy and settled with the new love of my life. She's not a woman or a man, a child, a god, a fast car or even a pet. My total dedication is now the love of giving something I'm good at giving. I simply give essential needs to poor children and their parents if they have any. I receive more pleasure by giving this, than I could ever have imagined when those nasty perverts were doing their best to destroy any goodness that could have developed when I was a child myself.
Indeed...My life has become a nonstop mission to keep providing essential moments of joy to those great little kids who otherwise get very little joy in their lives. So no amount of back stabbing comments about what I may be up-to when giving my heart and soul to those poor little blighters is ever going to stop me from doing what I do best...Quite simply showing them that men can be good guys sometimes.
Now, it’s entirely up to readers of this blog to decide how to think of me as an honest Joe or just another lying sad little paedophile trying to cover his own tracks. In the end...I am the only one who really knows the truth. And being that person, I know that while I am alive and when I'm dead...No one will ever be able to call me another one of those sub humans that deserves the title of 'Child Sex Abuser'.
The whole point of this statement is to try and show whoever reads it (and some ladies) - Not all men are paedophiles just because they work with children and even we survivors of child sex abuse don't all end-up doing the same as our abusers...In fact some of us end-up making sure that children we have the privilege to know and work with are all given the opportunity to see that not all 'MEN' are after their innocent little bodies or minds!
So, please spare a thought for those of us that have survived being abused without becoming offenders ourselves. And consider that some of us have even made it our true mission in life to help, protect and make happy the innocent children of this world.
Despite those morons we read about, I truly believe that men can and should work with children - Really!
Finally...
I can't leave this without saying...Thanks for nothing, Jimmy Savile, Gary Glitter, Stewart Hall, Rolf Harris and all the other sad little celebrity child abusers! -- You had wealth, fame and power. Why did you need to take those children's innocent lives as well, you selfish little worms!
Any questions: Post a comment.
A chance to reconsider any preconceived ideas about men who work with children.
I am moved to write this personal blog since I was reminded recently about a report I heard on the radio about how men can no longer consider working with children in Britain. It's also true that some people have preconceived ideas about men who do charity work with children.
Here's a quote from a lady who was the chairperson of a large woman's organisation:
"We cannot support your cause because you are a 'MAN' whose often in contact with vulnerable children".
Hypocrisy.
That was quoted to a man who had previously spent an afternoon with some of the ladies fellow committee members at a social function. Some of the ladies maybe had one sherry too many and started to become very keen on supporting the children's charity that the man worked for, which was in turn good news for the kids that the charity supports.
However, following a long period of not responding to emails calls and calls after that tipsy meeting. The hypocrisy of all their high flying offers started to show it's ugly face when it turned out that some of those (now sober) women had some unworthy preconceived ideas about MEN working with vulnerable children.
It's quite amazing how these ladies conveniently forgot about their own eagerness to support the charity when they were in a more enlightened state of excitement at the prospect supporting the charity that he works for. In fact they also, apparently had no idea that the man in question was actually employed by an organization that is set-up to seek out child abusers in S.E. Asia. The organization he works for is run by and made-up of respected, serving and retired male and female Police Officers from the UK, Australia and USA. You can be very sure, they don't employ anyone without the most stringent background checks being done before they even approach prospective employee. (Unlike the ladies from said organization?)
Pitfalls.
Here follows a more detailed guide to what he could have achieved to help hundreds of poor children
If those ladies had bothered to check the man's background they would have learned so much about what brought him to become a charity worker committed to helping vulnerable children. They may also have been able to do so much more to help those children themselves if only they hadn't fallen into the pit of judgement without trial.
Important to know this man.
He is now a single man that's been married a few times with grown-up children and a whole bunch of grandchildren. He also has a 30 year history of working worldwide and successfully adjusting to cultures that have very diverse ideas of morality, religions and lifestyles, before finally settling in S/E Asia many years ago.
As well as being a professional in his field of work, he is a key player and contributor to a children's charity that's takes him and a small team to city slums, homes for physically or mentally challenged children, remote areas where people are living in migrant communities, shelters for street kids and even people living on rubbish dumps.
Since starting this charity work more than ten years ago, he has been on a very long and often frustrating learning curve. One reality he had to try and understand was, why some people are reluctant to help a children's charity that has a 'MAN' at the helm, even though most other people connected are women? He also had to learn why a ladies group had personally insulted him without even considering any kind of background check on his personal suitability to work with children, or even checking the 'State Registered Charity's' very strict rules for staff working in regulated positions within the charity.
He also discovered that he had a few lessons to learn in his professional career where he regularly works at International schools, 5 star hotels, restaurants and even British, Australian, French and USA Embassies with direct contact to their respective Ambassadors. He's found there's a lot to learn in this modern day climate of political correctness while working around children and their families, be they rich or poor. And he finds it almost impossible to imagine how anyone intent on abusing children whilst in the employ of such establishments could ever achieve their sad little objectives. Although he knows it does happen and it's very important to seek-out the bad guys that do manage to infiltrate the systems.
As already said, a few years ago he was privileged to be invited to work as volunteer operative with an organization that is set-up for the sole purpose of catching the bad guys and getting their victims into safe hands and then help with recovery from their ordeal. He has so far reported quite a few potential abusers and to his knowledge some of them are now behind bars where it's hoped they remain for a very long time.
Even with such a respectable history, he is still a 'MAN' working with some not so vulnerable, and some very vulnerable children in S/E Asian. He is proud of his profession and has dedicated his life to making sure that his work is always going to benefit people without strings attached. He knows this because he has spent many years studying and practicing his chosen profession, just like a good Doctor, Lawyer or any other professional person must do to succeed.
Another reason for this blog.
Any British people reading this will know about the well known UK millionaire and third-rate TV personality, Jimmy Savile and now Rolf Harris and others who have managed to double the 'uphill slog' that many others have to climb in order to convince people that not all 'MEN' who work with children are raging paedophiles.
Though our man has never been abused by Jimmy Savile or any other high profile paedophiles. He is never the less, a survivor of child sexual abuse and rape from the age of six to thirteen. Most of the predators were Cub or Scout masters and their friends. Plus there were some complete strangers who spotted this vulnerable child/victim, (No family members).
Quotes from this victim.
"I was an innocent child -- Those men who abused me were not!".
I have learned that with the right kind of therapy and help, victims of such heinous crimes are sometimes able to learn how to eventually become good honest and caring people themselves.
The cycle of abuse can be stopped.
We survivors have to get used to the idea of seeing what happened to us was not our fault. That’s why it’s called ABUSE!
Many people think that abused children atomically become abusers themselves? I also believe that's true of a large percentage of victims of child sex, violent or mental abuse. I only hope that now there's less taboo surrounding this subject, more of those kids can talk about what's happened to them before they do become adults who keep the cycle rolling.
In my case it took me right up-to my early 40's to find out what had happened to me was such a life changing experience that it meant I actually lost all the innocence of a child when I was only just able to string a sentence together and still learning to spell my own name. 'Luckily', my wife left me when I was 42 and I couldn't understand why she had stopped loving me. I was left devastated and suicidal which in-turn forced me into a long period of drug & alcohol addiction, psychotherapy then rehabilitation before finally coming to terms with what happened to me when I lost my childhood. I finally understood that I had become an angry (Never violent) possessive and dismissive husband to the lady I loved the most and that's why she left. "I'm now pleased to know that she's settled very well and happily with a new husband and child".
I was 'Lucky' because, had she not left me...I may have never come to terms with or faced up-to what had made me so deeply depressed, angry and dismissive for most of my adult life. Details of what actually happened to me are published on another blog, aimed at helping survivors of child sexual abuse. To follow that hard hitting report, simply make a comment to this blog.
Now I am finally free from the depressions, drug & alcohol addictions and constantly trying to replace my lost love with quite a few more potential partners. All the miserable feelings and suicidal thoughts that so many survivors must fight-off are no longer part of my life and I am finally genuinely content and happy with life.
However, I and many other people in the teaching, nursing and other business where we must work with children are still massively affected by revelations about Savile, Harris and quite a few others who've recently been charged with crimes of abuse against children.
Unlike Savile and his mates...I have always made a point of never being alone with any child in my care and I always have all the correct, verifiable CRB certificates required by law to work with children. But I still find that some peoples preconceived ideas about 'MALES' who work with children has turned my personal struggle to establish and maintain my own good name into an uphill and time consuming task.
I'm getting tired of having to justify my existence as a single bloke who works with children simply because, I really enjoy seeing innocent little human-beings appreciating all the years of hard work I had to go through to become good at what I do for them... "If I was a woman, I'm sure no-one would give it a second thought". But I'm a 'MAN' so I suppose I just have to accept that some people are always going to read something nasty into whatever I do when I'm in contact with children.
As already hinted...I'm now finally happy and settled with the new love of my life. She's not a woman or a man, a child, a god, a fast car or even a pet. My total dedication is now the love of giving something I'm good at giving. I simply give essential needs to poor children and their parents if they have any. I receive more pleasure by giving this, than I could ever have imagined when those nasty perverts were doing their best to destroy any goodness that could have developed when I was a child myself.
Indeed...My life has become a nonstop mission to keep providing essential moments of joy to those great little kids who otherwise get very little joy in their lives. So no amount of back stabbing comments about what I may be up-to when giving my heart and soul to those poor little blighters is ever going to stop me from doing what I do best...Quite simply showing them that men can be good guys sometimes.
Now, it’s entirely up to readers of this blog to decide how to think of me as an honest Joe or just another lying sad little paedophile trying to cover his own tracks. In the end...I am the only one who really knows the truth. And being that person, I know that while I am alive and when I'm dead...No one will ever be able to call me another one of those sub humans that deserves the title of 'Child Sex Abuser'.
The whole point of this statement is to try and show whoever reads it (and some ladies) - Not all men are paedophiles just because they work with children and even we survivors of child sex abuse don't all end-up doing the same as our abusers...In fact some of us end-up making sure that children we have the privilege to know and work with are all given the opportunity to see that not all 'MEN' are after their innocent little bodies or minds!
So, please spare a thought for those of us that have survived being abused without becoming offenders ourselves. And consider that some of us have even made it our true mission in life to help, protect and make happy the innocent children of this world.
Despite those morons we read about, I truly believe that men can and should work with children - Really!
Finally...
I can't leave this without saying...Thanks for nothing, Jimmy Savile, Gary Glitter, Stewart Hall, Rolf Harris and all the other sad little celebrity child abusers! -- You had wealth, fame and power. Why did you need to take those children's innocent lives as well, you selfish little worms!
Any questions: Post a comment.